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I actually did not have a fever this morning, I didn’t have the sweats through my slumber either so I consider that a win! I have a fever now but it didn’t show itself until around 6pm. My surgeon brought my case in front of the tumor board, not finding anything on my recent pelvic CT, he wanted to know how other doctors felt about me continuing chemotherapy while actively feverering (my new word). My oncologist believes my cancer is stable and I can go a bit without chemotherapy if I need to. So...Not all bad.

What it comes down to is for me to just get better, so I am working on it. I felt almost normal laying around but when I got up I would feel better but a tad heavy and weighed down, you might know that feeling when you are trying to heal from some virus, it’s like a warning which I always hear in the voice of Han Solo “don’t get cocky kid,” so I don’t. As much as I want to do something else the couch or my massage table or my bed is like a magnet to my laboring body. Labor is not just for child-birth, we do so when our health is compromised as well as when we are dying. I am definitely not trying to exit my corporeal form right now, quite the opposite. I look forward to being lazy because I want to be not because I have to.

I have been working on manifesting a future. I look forward to a time when I can say to Charles “Remember how hard it was, cancer and quarantine? I am so glad all THAT’S not happening anymore! Dont forget your passport, our plane leaves in 2 hours and we need to get going!” I would love to have an opportunity to not be actively sick anymore, I look forward to self-care not being a full-time job. I want to help others in some kind of capacity. At the minimum, my hope is that someone can find something useful to them from my blathering in this blog, I mean I have shared recipes 😉

BUT I really would prefer more than “at the minimum,” I will keep slogging and we will see. Time will tell.

Until next time❤️

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