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Add title here (because I cannot think of one.)

Give me some credit for writing this blog twice a week for over a year and today is the day I can’t think of a clever title. My abscess situation seems to have calmed down, I feel cautiously optimistic that I have jumped a hurdle on this recent situation though I can’t kid myself that there won’t be more bumps in the road (or in my ass). I am using this moment to take some breaths and to regroup. My oncologist knows her stuff in relation to what she does but there is no guida

Ellen DeGeneres, SEND ME TO FINLAND!

Four years ago, a pair of angels disguised as my clients paid for three years of massage so that Charles and I could go the World Air Guitar Championships in Oulu, Finland. This was a dream for me and something Charles had never imagined we would do. Otherwise, he might have thought twice before agreeing to compete when I said to him, “Come on, if we EVER get to Oulu, you HAVE to compete...You would, wouldn’t you?” Ha! Sometimes I can be quite diabolical, which I think he for

The gateway drug...and RuPaul

As my idol RuPaul says: "If you can't love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else?" While I'm all about this, I think self-acceptance can be very difficult for many people. In 2008, I realized how hard it was myself when a therapist told me to practice saying, "I love you" to myself or visualize hugging my inner child. I couldn't do these things, at least not at first. I invite you to try this exercise...the outcome might surprise you. You might struggle with it. You

Way Back Machine Activate: A couple of REALLY horrible days...

Over the years, I have played a part in the care of several family members who suffered from cancer. To top it off, I am a service provider, a massage therapist--and a classic codependent. For a codependent, it is always easier to take care of others than to surrender to acts of kindness. Around the time I was diagnosed with cancer, I realized that all my life I had based my value on what I did for family, friends, and clients, and not on my inherent worthiness. How could any

My air guitar super talent? I give good face. Cue Madonna and strike a pose.

At its best, air guitar is performance art. At its worst... well, at least it's sixty seconds. Better than an ironic, off-key karaoke performance of "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Having been a karaoke deejay and listened to many performances of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," I believe that if you can stand before a crowd and earnestly entertain the audience with nothing but an imaginary instrument in your hands, you are brave...very brave. Also a complete dork. Good for you! A

Way Back Machine Activate: The Diagnosis...Cue the organ music with a side of sad trombone..Dun dunn

Happy Anniversary Colonoscopy: May 20, 2019. The thirtieth anniversary of our first date. After a grueling night of colonoscopy prep, showing up at the clinic feeling as if I had been in battle, (honestly, it should be mandatory that everyone who prescribes the clean-out protocol experience it first), I noticed colorectal cancer advertising wherever I looked. Charles asked me if I wanted to shift positions so I wouldn't have to see cancer advertising in 4D. But I felt too mis

Don't be afraid of the dark...Embrace it.

I grew up in turmoil. The chaos stretched and twisted around me like a boa constrictor, tightening and gripping, clinging to me throughout my life in one way or another. Then, at my bachelorette party in 2002, I discovered one of my favorite forms of therapy--karaoke. Specifically, metal karaoke. I poured my rage into singing songs like "Welcome To The Jungle," "Shout At The Devil," and "Mother." I realized I could channel my angst through my voice in front of a room full of

Way Back Machine Activate! The Mess to Clean Up

A look back: At one point while she was dying, my mother told me I would have a mess to clean up after her death. I didn’t foresee that the mess would be me. My mom died of lung cancer on June 22, 2016. Four weeks before that, my symptoms started. As the weeks passed after her death, my intestinal issues worsened. After six months, I cut out alcohol and though it helped, it wasn’t enough. The next step was to change how I ate. I went on a mostly plant-based diet with fish and

 
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Welcome to my world! Come keep me company and maybe we can learn something together.

 

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