I woke up this morning feeling pretty good! I listened to a podcast called Cosmic Fire (Ep. 4) by a Light Worker teacher I have studied with and her partner who is an astrologer...This IS Portland and I have been a Massage Therapist for over 20 years, it is a thing and I believe it works, at least for me. In the podcast Phoenix and Kairos discuss the state of our country as far as the anxiety and stress that is abundant amongst everyone, they said dancing and movement was the antidote to these awful feelings. During the last 10 minutes or so Phoenix (aka Tatiana Sakurai) does an energetic clearing where you as the listener can participate (think guided meditation on steroids). I was and I felt rejuvenated and energized, ready for the day. I felt pre-cancer good.
I decided I wanted to go to the store good. I masked and gloved up and Charles rode along, this time he was going to stay in the car and I would go in. I had gone to our local New Seasons before and they had a really good quarantine protocol that included no more than 25 people in the store at once. It was a lovely albeit a post apocalyptic feeling. When I lined up today the store employee at the door instructed those waiting of the social distancing requirements (kind of like going into a haunted house, “Don’t touch the monsters“) and then allowed us in. Apparently this time a good number of the 25 did not hear the instruction, I felt like I was in some kind of video game dodging the evil bugs. I got so wound up. It is hard for me to go out in public in this time of constant panic towards the unknown that most everyone is immersed in and not absorb that into myself. When you mix in people that thumb their noses at the rules that are there to insure this crazy virus goes away faster, it can make me feel very agitated.
Leaving the store I was ramped up and pissed off. So much is not known yet of Covid-19. The unknown is scary, I wish all people would follow the guidelines. I get it, those no mask or glove wearing mother fuckers that possess no special awareness are too cool for school but do you know what’s cooler? Not killing your immunocompromised neighbor, just sayin’. That being said I am trying not to be fearful of it. Fear, worry and anxiety don’t really help with healing, in fact I think my past traumas are a big factor in me having cancer.
I came home, put my clothes in the washer, washed my hands and took all 3 of my dogs on a walk. Then...I decided to dance and of course film it. I have wanted to try and recreate Napoleon Dynamites’ dance scene from the movie with the same title. After about 10 takes I did feel way better, tired, sore and almost pre-cancer good again.
Until Next time ❤️