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What the hell was that?!

I woke up drained today, literally and figuratively. I was getting ready to work a few hours in the office I work at 2 days a week and had to lay down between actions, as in I walked upstairs and lay on the bed, picked out clothes and then lay on the bed and so on and so on...You get it, right?

Not much changed when I got to work and I could sense my stench through the mask I was wearing as the pads in my pants grew heavy and wet with primordial ooze like the swamps of Dagoba. I went to the bathroom to change out the situation and when I saw what was in my underwear I paused...😳 Imagine a 2" diameter x 1" thick anemic chunk of scrambled egg looking tissue flecked with black pepper like flakes! I regreted leaving my phone on the desk and a small part considered keeping the specimen (I know that is so gross but it was fascinating!) I put what I can only imagine was tumor chunks in the garbage can...Knowing me I would have put it in my purse and forgotten about it like the mummified mandarins I tossed the other day.

I started a poem inspired by my experience:

Pieces of me fall on the floor.

I am fascinated by my personal gore.

I saw my oncologist yesterday and she is encouraged by my progress on the trial so far. She also found out from my biopsy that I qualify for an FDA approved immunotherapy which is good to know. My doctor also said that she felt I could heal, that this is still possible for me. It feels good that she is rooting for me as silly as that may sound.

I need to rest which is all I seem to do lately, best not to fight it.

Until next time ❤️

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07 apr 2023

That is so cool!! Too bad you didn't have your phone. And I do that with mandarin oranges, too! They are a great purse snack till you forget they are there. Just keep resting. That's great news about the FDA approved immunotherapy, too!!! We are cheering you on Kara, just rest when you need to and remember you are fighting for other people in the future by being in this trial.

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