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This girl is on FIRE!

I finished a 5 shot, European radiation protocol last Wednesday in order to shrink my rectal tumor aka “Jabronie Major” to allow my butt abscess to heal, which it looks like it is albeit slowly, 8.9cm deep to 3.5cm as of today is progress. When you go to the initial radiology appointment they give you the rundown of potential symptoms: fatigue, nausea, vaginal narrowing, a hard time peeing, diarrhea, burns... After 5 sessions of She-Hulkenation gamma rays I felt pretty decent, minimal nausea, slight fatigue and no burns... UNTIL 2 days ago! So let me give you an idea of what I am talking about (I would tell you to close your eyes but than you couldn’t read this). You are sunbathing without pants or anything else on a sunny, white sandy beach, it is 2pm and there is not a cloud in the sky, the water shimmers, you decide to stand on your head, do the splits and proceed to fall asleep for 90 minutes... This is what a radiation burn on your under carriage feels like, let’s say I did not get much sleep last night. The movies did not properly prepare me for what I am going through, everyone I have seen portrayed with cancer are pale and wan, lose their hair, barf and sleep a lot as well as look good doing it. Hollywood has not prepared me for this below the deck savage tan either. Now I know why dogs scoot their behinds down the sidewalk. Thankfully the symptoms will fade and are reversible but if you are ever in my situation you will at least be prepared for it a little better than I was.


I have another month to heal my wound before going back to the doctor to check my progress and less than a month to prepare for the air guitar competition on April 3rd. This makes me hopeful and excited.

Other than the burn, I am feeling better and like the days are becoming lighter, so am I. Spring is hopeful and the smell of daphne makes my heart happy, I can’t wait for the roses to bloom so I can shove my face into all of the fat blossoms, inhaling the intoxicating fragrance of the best ones, the yellow tends to be my favorite, reminding me of my grandpa, chocolate pie and Fantasy Island. Until next time ❤️


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