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Not for the faint of heart.

So I got a message from my surgeon the other night “The biopsy in your wound showed cancer was present...” This is never a sentence anyone wants to hear. It’s not super surprising as the tumor is right above these wounds, but still, when I said the cancer was moving out of me as an affirmation, this was NOT what I meant.

Regardless of this latest development I started the new treatment prescribed by my oncologist today, a chemo pill that I have to take in ever increasing doses for 3 weeks on and 1 week off. I get nervous taking any kind of medication but this created extra anxiety in me. I had Charles in the room when I took the first dose, we did a little ritual, I invoked my guides and christened the medicine “love pills” as it helps me to reframe this somewhat scary situation. You do what you need to do (or at least I do) to make the situation successful, functioning out of fear is not ideal therefore I actively work to not do that.

I felt better today, walked 2 of my dogs, sunbathed, worked on my air guitar edit, finished a dog portrait, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and did a little Wii Fit aerobics. This was a good day considering I started a new regimen who’s effects are unknown. I can only hope for more days like this, better and better, step by step, minute by minute.

I have had a bit of a hard time sleeping lately, two nights in a row I have woken up at 2:38am and 2:36am which is weird, insomnia usually waits to wake me up at 3am. I Googled the spiritual meaning of those numbers...If you didn’t know by now that I am a weirdo, well you do now, I love to look at alternative meanings of things, it makes me hopeful depending on the message and it’s fun. Both those numbers mean cool things and it makes me hopeful for the future.

The edible I took earlier is kicking in and my thumbs may be getting a little high so I better end this now before I go full Portland hippie dippy😳

Until next time❤️

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