Edging, it’s not always as sexy as you think.
My definition of what “edging” means in my case would be finding that limit to my finite energy reserve and aim to stay a hair over empty. This sounds good in theory but is extra challenging for a person such as me who before sickness had a hard time saying no and would rely on adrenaline and last minute deadlines to get anything done. Even socializing with good friends and family can lay me out for a few days after such festivities, though it is a price I will gladly pay to be able to participate in such things.
We have been inordinately busy over the last month with working on our book, fun events (some I have even been to) and friends flying into town to stay at our apartment. All really good things and an opportunity to measure my steam. At this point in my life I must pick and choose, creating an imaginary list of most to least important, forgiving myself for not having the capacity to do everything or even a half of everything. Depending on the day I can be pleasantly surprised though sleep can overtake me hard and in the most surprising positions. I present exhibit A:
Exhibit A: after a rigorous day of socializing and walking, here I am completely asleep in the middle of watching a movie.
Though my couch crashing days and intermittent nausea are not completely behind me as of right now, the needle on my gauge has not been so quick to get to empty as it was only months ago. I wish I had been better at prioritizing and being able to say no to things before I got sick but I guess it’s better late than never.
Until next time ❤️