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Die or get off the pot.

It’s a thought I had, not a feel sorry for myself thought, more like a “What’s going to happen in my future?” thought. Let’s face it, I think a LOT. I had this idea when I made an Instagram post that automatically shares to my Facebook page asking if people were as bored of hearing about my stage 4 colorectal cancer as I am talking about it. This is not an unreasonable question, these days we all have small attention spans and I have been dealing with this disease officially for 2 years and 2 months, what seems like an eternity in some ways. I wasn’t fishing for complements but the responses to my post was overwhelmingly supportive and sweet…I struggle with accepting them though, I am just a person like any other person who happens to have a cancerous mass in my rectum and a couple tumors in both lobes of my liver, or so I have been told, anything can change. If my over sharing is inspiring to anyone, I am glad, I really do hate the thought that I would be boring people with my existence. It seems I have spent most of my life trying not to inconvenience anybody 😳 Is this a blog or a therapy session? Perhaps both.


Many diseases are not obvious, I know plenty of people who look relatively normal but are struggling just as much if not way more than I am. I wish our society was less about winners vs losers and more about kindness (not to be confused with weakness) you know, stop judging and making assumptions about people based on what they look like, healthcare for all, free college, shelter and food for everyone, no more homeless people…Here I go again 🙄 Radical left, bleeding heart liberal that I am, I want to save all of the puppies, even the hideous ones.

I am yammering again and I am not even high.


My overall energy is good, though due to taking my chemo pills again, the ulcers in my upper gluteal cleft are still awful, allowing an angry gnome to move into my pants and stab my butt crack intermittently, he is a real jerk and when I catch him he is in for it.

That‘s all I have for now, my ass is gently screaming and I need to get into a more comfortable position as lame as that sounds.


Until next time ❤️




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Tired but not defeated.

I was notified recently that I was being dumped from Medicaid to Medicare. If you don’t know, Medicaid covers most medical expenses and Medicare is a bit more problematic. Like most government run pro