As the quicksand recedes I find that I am still here.
Yesterday I started feeling better than I have in a bit. Tuesday I received some chiropractic adjustments that gave me quite a bit of relief and helped decrease the nausea that I have been experiencing as well, there are many parts to this moving or lately mostly NOT moving vehicle. I have also realized that anxiety plays a role in this sick non dance, my fear of that feeling spurring said feeling forth…The term “It’s all in your mind” has been used to make people feel lesser than but it shouldn’t, there is validity in this statement, the mind can make things worse and I can attest to this as a body worker having witnessed it in clients and in my own body that is going through a lot of trauma past and present right now. The brain and it’s fuckery is not so easy to navigate as one might be led to believe. Like being told something is “In your mind” is a solution instead of a problem, as if? 😳 Anyway, today I have had a minimal amount of nausea which I combated with an anti-nausea pill and one pot gummy, which worked. I also ate 3 eggs and a whole English muffin in one sitting which is amazing! I have continued to be able to eat today, I walked a dog and did some dishes. I feel that I could do more but hesitate, I have to leave gas in my tank, I must baby myself a little and battle with the lazy shame that I have. My house is a mess and I wanted to vacuum but this hasn’t happened…Yet…It will eventually, I tell myself.
I finished the cover of my coloring book! I can’t wait to share it here, I feel like it’s going to be really good, I am proud of it and Charles received good news that his movie short “A History Of Worry” has been accepted into a film festival at The Dalles for sometime early next year, I will share more info when I know more.
That‘s about it for now, I wish I had more exciting stories than the fact I ate an actual meal but I celebrate even these small victories. Hopefully I can gain 2 pounds before next week so my oncologist will stop worrying 😜
Until next time ❤️