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Whack a mole? Hell no!

I saw my surgeon on Thursday and he agrees that I indeed have an abscess brewing and surgery is most likely imminent but up to me to determine when I want to schedule it. I was not surprised to hear this information but it didn’t stop my heart from sinking below my feet and tears to build up behind my face…Shit.


“Just let me know when I am going in for another round of Whack-A-Mole” said my surgeon to which I replied “Not Whack-A-Mole, let’s call it The Tail Of The Dragon, instead of suggesting this will happen again and again let’s think of this as the end potentially instead of endless.” He made some joke about me acquiring a dragon tattoo and then sent me on my way…Again…Shit.


It’s easy to make light of a situation when it’s not happening to you or maybe it’s not, maybe it’s a way to try and make it feel easier than it is but I am a bit sad about this, what feels like a bodily failure once again. Now, I know that healing looks different on everyone and roads are never straight and often riddled with detours and u-turns but all runners have a crisis moment at some point in a marathon and this is no different…Shit.


“I agree with your surgeon.” Said my wound care doctor, informing me that this would be a good time to have the procedure, as hyperbaric therapy can stimulate healing, “Maybe this will make you heal better over all.” SHIT…Okay, valid point.


I am now waiting to hear when I am to have abscess surgery and I am a little extra tired, whether that be normal exhaustion from my life feeling extra busy or the added burden from the extra ooze that is seeping out of me and the PTSD from 6 months of hospitalization and surgery that I went through a year and a half ago. Truthfully, I am a little sad with a side of scared…I know it could be way worse.


Shit.


Until next time ❤️





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4 Comments


Mark Thibodeau
Mark Thibodeau
Sep 08, 2022

Oh, damn. I didn't realize that you might have cancer present in those actual wounds (or that applying a vac to them would be a bad thing... although thinking about it now, I can see how negative pressure might cause a tumor to grow, just like positive pressure from the hyper-chamber might shrink them). So what is their solution? Do they open it up, rinse it out and apply surface medication? Actually, scratch that. None of my business and you don't need to be thinking about that until you're in the hospital prepping to do it.


Yours,

Mark

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Kara Muir
Kara Muir
Sep 08, 2022
Replying to

No worries Mark. Most likely they will drain and debride but who knows, perhaps this time there won’t be cancer in the wounds, we shall see.

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Mark Thibodeau
Mark Thibodeau
Sep 06, 2022

Just curious, Kara, but doesn't it feel GOOD to know that you're getting that pus sucked out of you and having a once festering, suppurating inner cavity hosed out with pure, clean saline solution, making it all shiny and clean and ready for proper healing? I had 35 lbs worth of pre-cancerous materials removed from my inner right thigh in 2007, and it left a horrifying hole in my leg when every single one of my 200-plus stitches let go on my second post-operative day in hospital. For months I suffered with packing and packing and packing this wound in which I could have hidden a prize-winning pumpkin, should I have so desired. Then, they gave me a wound vacuum…


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Kara Muir
Kara Muir
Sep 06, 2022
Replying to

Ha! Wow…Yes, if I knew this time all the puss would be out of me I would truly be happy. I have never been able to use a wound vac due to cancer in my wounds but maybe they won’t find any this time and I could. It’s just been a really long time that I have been oozing and sometimes I just feel really weary. Thank you for your perspective.

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