Walking through the rubble that is me.
It's interesting this new direction I am going in. I kind of feel floaty and untethered in the land of the unknown. I have a sense of overwhelm thinking about all of the things I can do or need to do. The last few years it was a literal drag to even attempt the easiest chores but now that I feel closer to normal the pile of things that I should do are daunting. In the before times of working for myself 5-6 days a week I would be too tired to do certain projects and long for an opportunity of time so that I could actually get to these things. When I was diagnosed with cancer I had a ton of time and a very limited ability to do much of anything. The grass is always greener. Anyway, I am trying to whittle away at the things. The other day I went through about 2 years of medical bills and burned them, the flames were huge and the ash is now a mountain but it made a little bit of room and that felt better. Next is to clean the heaping ash out of the fireplace, maybe tomorrow. I am able to see a bit better every day, my eyes bouncing back from hyperbaric like the "Little Engine That Could." I can now tell that the living room should really be vacuumed, perhaps this better vision is a mixed bag 😜 I am aiming not to over exert or stress myself about catching up, perfection is never attainable and that is okay.
I have a few art projects that I have either started or are percolating on, along with applying for jobs. My path is uncertain as far as what career path I may end up in but I am okay with that. It's a surprise to be here in a way, let alone feeling more capable of regular things.
Until next time ❤️