Tired yet stable.
I know that’s probably the least exciting blog title but who cares? I might have a smidge of apathy from living in a world where people are making decisions based on lots of fear and no real data. Enough said about that.
It has not been quite a week after my first immunotherapy infusion (Opdivo) and I feel decent. My appetite has been a bit low and I AM tired but have been ingesting a third of a gram of RSO per night or the immunotherapy which can make you feel like you are fighting a cold, either way I spend the day pushing myself trying to get anything significant done and my dragging body to do it. So far so good🤞🏻 I have felt ungrounded and a bit restless lately, though right at this second my brain does seem to be attached so that’s a relief. I am not a fan of zombie walking through my days, often startled by anything that moves but there is healing in resting. The American (the majority, not 1%) attitude is basically if you are not suffering to make ends meet and be a part of the status quo, then you are a “loser.”Having spent the majority of my adult life working and forced to be on disability due to the big C, the challenge is all in my head. I have definitely learned to surrender to the process of the body healing itself but occasionally I slip and revert to the ingrained impulse. Indoctrination and propaganda in my opinion, working so much you never get a chance to breathe is stupid, at least for those who have to do it regularly. No wonder people often die shortly after they retire, counting days, hours and seconds until retirement they pushed their bodies too much, never heeding the messages from their own system and living by the expectations set by others…Again, I would point a passionate conspiracy theorist to something like this, who really benefits from someone working themselves to the grave? I learned the other day that with the invention of lightbulbs came the 7 day work week 🙁, with this invention people could be made to work more and this brought forth labor unions to try and get the workers some sort of quality of life… Sorry to be sticking my toe in the darkness tonight, ha! Clearly I have opinions 😜
We met some friends visiting from out of town this weekend and we were going to meet up for lunch at an outdoor venue in our neighborhood and I walked instead of drove 😳 THEN walked those same friends to the Max station by our house. I have walked way further in my life but this was the first time in a month where I was able to again! I have walked our dog Ruby Sue the last two days, which feels like progress…Progress no measure too small is progress!
Until next time ♥️