Remember the dark forest I have been walking or crawling through for the last few years? It feels like I have reached a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and possibilities as the world I see ahead is stripping the rights from people one at a time. It’s a weird time to be alive (still) and I don’t know what to do or where my place is anymore. It reminds me a little bit of “The Nothing” from “The Endless Story” as I watch our freedoms disintegrating before my eyes. I think it is important to count the good things like sheep when one is trying to sleep, I sometimes do this in the most mundane ways, for example every time I use my silverware I thank Charles’ grandmother in my mind “Thank you Bernice, I am sorry I let the rhododendron get chopped down, I am sooooo sorry.” Not that I apologize to all of the gifts in my life but that is a funny example I think and even in the worst of times if we can find humor there is hope.
In the midst of the horrors that are happening in our country I am planning on getting back on the stage again in a couple of weeks. This both scares and excites me, I just want to do a good job…If I was a dog I would most likely be a lab 🙄 but it’s true, if I can entertain a crowd and ready them for a fun show, all the better. On July 16th at Dante’s in downtown Portland, the National Air Guitar Championships will be happening and I will not be competing but that’s okay (I whisper this to myself like a mantra.) I WILL be okay, I don’t have to compete to be a winner, ha!
I am brewing another abscess in my undercarriage but it is working towards the surface and doesn’t seem to be impacting me energetically in any big way. I still feel almost normal, another mantra that I find myself repeating “I AM normal, ALMOST.”
I need to go practice the bass, work on commissioned drawings and put together the music for an up coming show among many other things including feeding myself, I think this is what healing is like and it’s weird but I will accept this feeling and try to get used to it.
Until next time ❤️
P.S. Here’s another throwback air guitar show, I love to watch these videos sometimes to remind me of what I have been a part of as silly as they seem, I did that!