The wind was really blowing last night and then throughout today. I woke up to discover a large tree limb in front of our house that was gently resting on a couple of cars and slightly in the street but I was able to sweet talk my neighbors dad into chopping it up for us. My body is sore from trying to learn how to play my bass guitar and I practiced another massage again today, working on my muscle memory and endurance, so different than the couch clinging that had become my normal way of life for a large percentage of the last 3 years.
Last year at this time I was either in the hospital, just out of the hospital or going to the hospital. I could verify the details but am too lazy to do so, plus I don’t want to dwell too much on that experience, it wasn’t awesome and right now I feel pretty darn good, what a contrast. I am stressed that our clothes dryer broke and that we have to replace it after paying $100 for a repair person to tell us this (shout out to a Best Buy card and 18 months same as cash!) Taxes are looming, the usual stress that has not changed regardless of me being sick or not.
It‘s a strange feeling that I have, an almost normal (or as close to normal as I can possibly be.) I catch myself wondering how long this will last, though I combat that feeling by making plans that are a little farther out than a few days with a caveat of “If I am able.” I feel more “able” than I have in what seems like forever, at least an ”able” that doesn’t cost a fortune in energy. I knock on wood and make wishes every time I see 11:11, I throw salt over my shoulder when I spill it, I put positive intentions into a handful of cinnamon once a month that I blow out my front door…I don’t know if all of this has anything to do with my good fortune right now but it can’t hurt. I like to believe in magic and luck, it makes the world seem less hard to navigate.
Instead of going to see my oncologist every other week it is now once a month, if I keep progressing in a positive way I imagine I will see her less. They have scheduled another CT scan in 2 weeks to check on the issues in my tissues and I look forward to this with both great interest and a mild case of dread.
The light is brighter in this dark forest and I am hearing the birds singing, their song full of joy and promise as I embody it, well I do sometimes, when I am not stressing over what brand of appliance to purchase.
Onward I go.
Until next time ❤️
P.S. This TikTok video made me laugh so hard! If you think poop is funny and you like to laugh, check it out!