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Like I have said before...WORDS MATTER!

My oncologist cancelled my chemotherapy yesterday and urged me to see my surgeon due to yet another abscess situation, I knew she would. “What can I do to make this not happen, can we spread out the chemotherapy?” I asked her, trying not to cry. She looked at me hard “You are amazing and so tough, I can’t imagine being the same way if I was going through what you have been. We have to walk a fine line in order to keep your cancer stable.” Or something like that, my quote marks indicate conversation and not her words exactly but that was the jist.

I soon found out that my surgeon was not available but one of his partners was and not one I had met before. I decided to come back in later that day and see if she could help me. The jury is still out on what she actually did, we will see but here is my experience:

Dr: “Hi, I have been looking through the notes...Wow...Ummm you have been through a lot, what brings you here today?”

KP: “Well, it seems I have an abscess again...”

Dr: “Okay, so you think you have an abscess...”

KP: “Yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo....”

The conversation was weird, she kept explaining things to me that I am already aware of, let’s call it “Abscess-splaining.” I get that we didn’t know each other but if you read my notes 😳.... Anyway, she wanted to listen to my heart and look at my Ostomy.

Dr: “Oh, do you wear the fancy odor controlling bags?”

KP: “Aren’t they all that way?”

Dr: “No, I don’t think so. Do you have a hernia?” She asked looking at my hernia.

KP: “Yes.”

Dr (to Scribe): “She has a moderate hernia.”

KP: “I was told it was a small hernia...”

Dr: “That’s just nomenclature. Okay, pull your pants down and put your knees on the pad.”

Dr upon gazing at my bare bottom: “Excessive scarring...” On and on, details that I just didn‘t want to hear and then picture...Questions regarding what my under carriage looked like before this infection 😳

Words, nomenclature, charting, dumb questions...No matter what this was, I was getting really upset. I felt like my butt looked like Freddy Kruegers face, I mean it might but I don’t need to feel like it does.

As I write this I am still waiting to see if what she did under my hood was what needed to happen. My eyes heavy from sleeping and brain soft from the effects of Rick Simpson Oil. I am not sure yet, I had a fever today but not right now, perhaps this is a sign that something went right in that appointment.

From a distance I hear “One-two Freddy’s coming for you.” Than I pull my pants up and can’t hear that anymore.


Drum roll.

Until next time ♥️

P.S. Happy New Year 😘

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