Search

Knock knock on wood.

I haven’t had a fever in 5 days! Today is number 6 and no fever has presented itself thus far after months of nightly low grade to a little on the high side temperatures. I can’t help but think this is because of the trial drug I am on, I also can’t help feeling a little excited about this. My potential abscess feels less abscess-y as well, along with an increase in my energy. I am not saying I could dance in an all night rave but I am capable of accomplishing a couple of chores in a day without completely emptying my tank for the next 3 days. I am also seeing tissue come out of me again, what I think of as tumor chunks (I know, gross BUT fascinating, at least to me) which I haven’t seen since the last time I was on chemotherapy. I entertain the thought of my cancer going away completely despite what my initial prognosis was, though this may be a dream there is no harm in entertaining the idea and why not? Though I accept the fact that western medicine deems my care as “palliative” I don’t have to set my hopes on fire even though some of the medical community looks at hope in cases such as mine as almost a bad thing, a girl, even an old one like me, can and will dream of a future without these tumor like anvils in her body. I have probably recommended it before but the book “Love, Medicine And Miracles” by Bernie Seigel, a surgeon if you can believe it, is about this sort of thing, I highly recommend it in both traditional book and audiobook, it’s beautiful and relevant even though it was written in the 80’s, I have read it twice so far.

I have been watching this quirky show on Hulu called “Baskets” that I heard of after learning that the comedian Louis Anderson died. In the show he plays Zach Galifianakis’ mother and in such a sweet way. Weirdly the character reminds me of my late mother-in-law Cheryl who was more a dear friend to me than anything, it really makes me miss her…She would really hate that I would be reminded of her by Louis Anderson but he plays the roll so beautifully, I never realized how truly talented he was and I am grateful to him for reminding me of Cheryl even though it hurts my heart a bit to remember I can’t call her like I used to or hear her cat call me out of her kitchen window as I would walk by (she lived 2 blocks away from us.) This somewhat semi-retired living makes a lot of time for me to miss my people that are no longer here, none of us gets off of this planet alive but I sure wish some would have stuck around a bit longer.

Until next time ❤️

56 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All

Charles walked in on me as I was watching the latest season of "Too Hot To Handle" on Netflix, yet another terrible reality show I watch. This kind of thing is my go to when I am couched for one reaso

"Your white blood cells are high! Why?!" My oncologist asks me, eyes wide over her mask. She has asked me this before, the last time was in June and I had been fighting something then. It's a funny qu