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Is that a tumor or are you just happy to see me?

I saw my surgeon again, I did this because of the pressure I have been feeling in my bum these past few weeks. Apparently it's my tumor spreading its bloody wings. My cancer is inoperable, of course this has been known all along but I haven't quite been aware of any of the messed up cells until now, my malignant pregnancy...It's pretty fucked up. He told me that I need to find a trial that works and that if things get more intense he would attempt surgery, though he is hesitant to since my last operation where I wouldn't stop bleeding...I get it. Until I find something that shrinks my ass hugger, ibuprofen will be my crutch, it actually really helps relieve the pressure and doesn't make me feel like a zombie like oxycodone does.

I see my oncologist tomorrow about this new clinical trial. It's a pill and I can't eat grapefruit but maybe it will help. My very first clinical trial was such a success, could I be lucky enough for 2 in a row?

Nothing is for sure.

I want to skip ahead but the book won't let me.

Until next time ❤️

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