Hope, hope, hope.

I am listening to “Love, Medicine & Miracles” by Bernie Siegel M.D. right now (again), a wonderful book written by a surgeon who found himself burnt out in his career and thought about quitting until he went to a conference and learned about how stress correlates with cancer. He realized that hope and just talking and actually listening to his patients could be just as powerful a medicine as anything else. You don’t have to have cancer to get something out of this book, I highly recommend it, listening to it turns the volume up on my hope and that is not a bad thing at all.

Speaking of hope...My energy is still sustaining. We had guests last weekend until Tuesday this week and though I hit a bit of a wall on Wednesday (who wouldn’t staying up till the early morning every night talking?) I perked up today and readied myself and dogs for Charles’ birthday extravaganza down at the coast. Unfortunately I can’t drive that distance myself due to butt wounds but I arranged myself in a way that worked and Charles drove us to our destination which happens to be the place of his birth 50 years ago 😳 I used to live in this very town when I was a kid and I was pleasantly surprised that they are having a Pride parade on Saturday, something I never would have seen there as a child. I can’t wait to see this! I hope my energy stays the course.

If my wounds weren’t something I had to deal with I would actually feel normal except for the rectal tumor which I feel if I sit in a certain way, the sensation is like a balloon filled with tightly packed sand. I feel like it is shrinking, that was the whole point of the radiation but still, I slightly mistrust my senses in regard to my own body sometimes...I am sorry body, its not you, it’s me, I am trying to figure out what you need, it seems like things are starting to work but we have to wait for some test to confirm that 😛 Lame.

Theres not much more to report right now, I am a skosh tired but it is late, in these moments I like to say “It’s not “cancer tired”, just ”tired” tired.

Until next time❤️

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