Healing is hard.

In a society that expects what they want a minute after they touch a purchase button, it is not surprising that we often expect the same outcome in regards to our health. It would be nice if this was a thing but honestly, I find that true healing is often a longer and more painful path if you really want to go there. Yes, I believe healing is a choice, not that it always turns out exactly how you picture it. Healing can be incredibly boring. Healing can fucking hurt so bad that you may consider throwing in the towel. Healing might mean making choices that you never imagined you would have to. Healing can feel like you are deconstructing who you thought you were and putting it back together, often discarding extra pieces like left overs from an Ikea lamp. Healing makes you figuratively and sometimes literally grab your ankles and show your most delicate and hidden parts to (you hope) well meaning professionals. Ultimately, once you achieve one healing goal there will inevitably be another that you will have the option to work on. The work is never done. Healing is infinite in my opinion. Hopefully though not always so acutely and literally as painful each time you meet a challenge. Right now I choose to walk this bumpy road and I look forward to better days, which I will appreciate more after these horrific trials (call me dramatic, the shoe fits), as I think you cannot truly appreciate the good if you have never experienced the opposite. I look forward to writing fluffier and more fun posts in the future but sometimes you have to let the pain access the thumbs for writing and share the darkness within so that you can make room for the sweet stuff...Like thinking about going to Finland. Until next time ❤️

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