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Writer's pictureKara Muir

Cracker Jacks ain’t got nothing on me!

This is just a thought when I have to pull my pants down...Gross yet fascinating, instead of a cool prize like a magnifying glass or a tattoo, I have pieces of me in the shape of odd anemic flesh balls in various sizes. I picture my rectal tumor sliding out of me and onto the floor, what a relief that would be, I will keep trying.


Charles said "Don't take this the wrong way but I don't think your butt has ever looked this flat." I take this as an encouraging sign regarding the new clinical trial even if I don't have a Kardashian's butt.


I am noticing a theme in shows that I have watched and it is that the maternal figure has some kind of stage 4 cancer and nothing can be done, therefore imminent demise is achieved within a few weeks to a couple of months. I decided to Google "What is the life expectancy of someone diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?" Which is something I have never done before but I felt I could handle what the internet told me that day. The answers were more in line with the teeth gritting emoji 😬 As in: "Ummmmm, yeah, you're probably not going to do too well..." There were no specific time ranges but I am glad it took me so long to ask, it seems like I have made it quite a bit further than (most likely) expected. That being said, there are always exceptions and I wish Hollywood would add some versatility to how it adds angst to a character 🙄 In the voice of Cher from the movie Clueless "Cancer is so 5 minutes ago, as if?!" Seriously though, there ARE other things that will kill you and I would like to petition the entertainment people to look into other diseases or at least stop being so lazy regarding the handling of cancer as part of a storyline, there are many different ways people experience their lives and challenges, even those who're labeled "Stage 4."


My gummy just hit so I better end this now before I really get weird.


Until next time❤️

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