The other shoe dropped and I have been mildly knocked out today, not horribly, just not quite right. The weather as it is here can sometimes be heavy, I literally will feel like I have suddenly gained an anvil that I am balancing on the top of my head, it beckons me to lie down and close my eyes as the rain thrums against the roof lulling me.
Every time the feelings in my body shift I start to wonder “Is this the cancer?” I can’t help venturing a step or two into that dark place in those moments where I don’t feel quite right. I am in the middle of my 3rd round of chemotherapy (of which I remind myself when this happens) and a shift in how I am feeling could easily be attributed to that but I will still wonder and never quite rest easy when this happens.
I suppose the differences in how I feel wouldn’t be as noticeable if I was actually having real deal adventures like I thought I was going to have this year. Everything including air guitar nationally and internationally, has been cancelled and the most exciting quest on the docket is going to the hospital, my naturopath, the store or walking my dogs while dodging people and keeping a 6 feet distance between me and the other mouth breathers.
I am still planning adventures, mild as they may seem. I invested in a fancy tablet (shout out to Best Buy and their 18-month same as cash financing deal), so that I can up my illustration game. “Fiona Plays With Her Beaver” a children’s book I wrote a lifetime ago under the pen name “Morocco Leonard”, has needed to be reillustrated since I first self published it, though I think the pictures that I drew were sweet, they lack polish and due to my year spent mostly on the couch honing my drawing skills, I think I am ready to do a better job, this both excites and scares me so I will put this in my adventures “To do” queue and plan on working on this as soon as I cram in all of the CEU’s I need to renew my Massage license by June 1st, though I am not sure when I will professionally be allowed to touch anyone again nor when I can physically go back to work. The positive thing about this pandemic is that the requirements to be relicensed have been cut in half so silver lining, ha!
Here is a link to “Fiona Plays With Her Beaver.” The OG version. Double entendres intended and child approved. There is a free version on ITunes if you want this as a download.
Until next time ❤️