This was a commission for a friend, “sisu” means perseverance in Finnish. If you like what you see check out my Society6 page, my shop is “karapicante”
Well...Apparently my immune system is “amazing” according to my oncologist. You would think that this would not be a statement being made to an abscess riddled stage 4 colorectal cancered lass such as myself but she said it and my heart sang a little song, words matter. I have been knuckle dragging low lately and the news of my recent CT scan showing that it is stable but not shrinking is a glass half full situation but hearing my doctor say that word in regards to something about me and restating that I am stable and not desperate at this time was nice. Not having cancer would be nicer but clearly the story of my life needed some more challenges and intrigue 🙄, thanks powers that be. You might wonder why my doctor would say what she did, the reason is that getting chemotherapy while having an ongoing chronic abscess situation is not common, in fact in most cases people would have to wait until the abscess was healed in order to start treatment, I however am navigating doing both. It is not ideal and potentially dangerous to do this but I am tolerating the treatment and it is working on the tumors so here I am, the girl with an amazing immune system despite her cancer.
I have started taking epsom salt baths for the abscesses and using a friends rife machine (alternative medicine hippie shit), I am feeling stronger even through the chemotherapy weariness. Yesterday I finally looked at my poor, dented, traumatized butt for the second time since my first major abscess surgery and it was a bit shocking... I remember when leggings first came into fashion in the 90’s and the year I wore them all of the time while visiting Charles’ mom at the soda fountain she worked at on the weekends, milkshakes were the norm, one day I decided to wear jeans which I found did not fit anymore 😬. This was a bit like that, laying on the couch has been necessary unlike those glorious milkshakes in the 90’s but my butt, though a warrior, is a bit droopy and sad, a reflection of how I feel on the inside and incentive to do more to lift it up, maybe in doing so this shall lift my mood as well, ha!
I am going to start with walking regularly now that my hip and low back seem to be better, I am thinking about starting to climb my stripper pole again but let’s see if I can keep up walking without slipping back onto the couch again, I have to keep plugging away otherwise what’s the point? Our financial situation is a bit daunting right now but whose isn’t these days? That being said my goal is to be well enough to do massage part-time after I get the COVID vaccination which I assume will be in the spring, this gives me time to see how well I can get by then, I gotta see what I can do but keep my expectations loose, this is how I navigate my metaphorical river.
On another subject, we are heading into the age of Aquarius, this is a good time to set intentions for how you want your life to be, I am going to do this and I invite you to as well! December 21st is when this happens, let’s picture a better world together!
Hang in there and I will too ❤️