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Well, I did it!


I had to shoot a second video for the air guitar competition that is happening this Saturday on the US Air Guitar channel on Twitch at 7pm PST. When the show is in person, the top 5 scores go to a second round and have to perform to a compulsory song but in this new virtual world we are sent the song and we have a bit more time to put something together in the event we make the second round. I am getting radiation tomorrow so I thought I would make the video today. Let me tell you, going from laying on a couch for 6 months to 5 back to back 60 second sprints was really challenging! Having more time to think about what to do in my performance actually made it more challenging for me and tripped me up, that’s why I did it so many times and still, even though I like the end product I know I could have done better but lacked the gas and steam to try again. Oh well, ha! I did it! That is a win for me regardless, though my body is extremely exhausted right now, it feels good.

I am up to one 8oz bottle of Haelan 951 a day, which is the dose I need to be at. I have noticed my chemo side effects of burning and itching hands and feet has subsided and my energy is starting to get better. This is also a win. When your life is your job you celebrate the victories no matter how small. I am looking forward to more positive reactions from my body, I dream of the rectal tumor going away and the abscesses with it... To work again, to massage people again, to be able to sit on a plane, these things I also dream about.

One dream at a time, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, walking more upright today through the dark forest as I keep moving forward.


I am really tired but if you feel compelled, see what I did on Twitch this Saturday night and you might understand why.


Until next time ❤️

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Tired but not defeated.

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