This picture is a prime example of how weird Charles’ brother is as well as me…Yeah, I can admit this, in fact I am happy to, not to mention Charles, he too is not ordinary and I think this is why we have done so well through adversity. I am not saying one HAS to be strange to navigate the hard realities that life can bring but I have found it has helped to think way out of a box that may have made me felt too confined if I had limited myself to it. Am I saying that not being normal has extended my life thus far? Yeah, I kind of think so but who knows? I am still here and this very fact has left a lot of professionals in the medical biz surprised and that includes my very supportive medical team.
Charles and I have birthdays in the same month, regardless of how much I have pleaded for him to change his date of birth he hasn’t budged, so alas I must share, ha! My husband and I have been seriously practicing our musical instruments, him drums and me bass so that we can actually play songs with his legit musician brother who has graciously agreed to play with us. For the second month in a row we have come to Astoria (90 minutes from our home) and Charles’ wish is for us to stay here even longer than last month and jam up to my birthday which is when we will head home, hopefully better at our instruments than before we came here the other day. I feel so lucky I can do this, especially considering the path I have been on the last few years. I remember when I was in my early 30’s thinking that even if I wanted to perform it was a dream that I had passed…I am so glad I have moved out of that mindset, thinking like that is a literal dead end. While you breathe and still have dreams there is no reason not to try to achieve them. There have been moments during the last few years when I thought maybe certain things were over for me, not having a lot of energy can take certain things off of the table but I always leave room for possibilities even if they are far fetched, it’s fun to wonder and leave the door open a crack just in case. I love to perform, even if it’s playing music for just us and performing for each other there is a joy in this…Medicine for the soul that can translate to the physical. The world can beat down the healthiest of us but an antidote to this or at least an energetic supplement is to find the joy in the harsh crevices to make the life we each have left worth living.
That’s my wisdom for today. I just ate a delicious burrito bowl from the Astoria Co-Op thanks to my brother and sister in laws and am looking forward to binging the rest of “Stranger Things” on Netflix. I feel full, a bit tired but pretty good, not bad for someone with stage 4 cancer who is about to turn 52 years old. I am looking forward to playing music tomorrow and eating that Ruby Jewel ice cream sandwich that is allocated as my birthday treat to be enjoyed a day before, the little things add up too, thank you for listening to me ramble once again.
Much love to you.
Until next time ❤️