Slow and steady...

I went on a magic mushroom journey last year. I had microdosed before with psilocybin and can tell you that it was a miracle for me, virtually eliminating my anxiety and fear related to dying, I experimented with this after I received my cancer diagnosis and it was the first time I had ever tried them, it was life changing. After almost a year of cancer treatment and all that went along with that I wanted to see what I could accomplish taking a big enough dose of this sacred medicine...

This is the message I got: JUST BE!

Instead of communing with some spiritual being that would tell me the meaning of life I experienced what it would feel like to BE a mushroom, I was buried in the earth surrounded by other mushrooms, I was one with the fungi, this was a disappointing message but an answer nevertheless and like a lot of answers way less exciting and harder than riding a unicorn and talking to The Buddha, not cool man, my work is never done.

A realistic re-enactment of me “Just Being.”

As I had been riding the fever train I heeded the advice of the mushrooms, I was just existing, breathing, eating, eliminating, visualizing being healthy and watching all of the documentaries. When the fevers finally left me after almost 2 weeks, I was exhausted from the virtual roller coaster of too hot and too cold. Now, as I am a few days out from that ride I am actually starting to feel better and more energetic. When I say I am more energetic let me put that in perspective, I am getting to a point where I can actually load the dishwasher without having to take a break, this is progress.

Last night I decided to set up my karaoke system, I love to sing and in my research regarding the vagus nerve, (look it up, it’s fascinating), loud singing is a way to get the nerve in working order. I have not been singing and the voice is powered by muscle of which mine is a bit on the flaccid side 😬 but I worked my way through some cobwebs and ended my concert with some Guns And Roses, I basically screamed my heart out and even shook my poor ass, it felt amazing. I had to reward my efforts with laying down on the couch for the rest of the night but this is a part of the work of healing for me, lots of inaction with bursts of activity followed by more “just being.”

Charles surprised me with a video from the wonderful actress Gina Torres, she has been on a few shows I love (Angel, Alias, Firefly...) There is a platform called Cameo where you pay a fee and a celebrity will make a video for whomever. This blew me away, I am going to post it here and you will see why. I plan to use it as a tool to help me on my path to wellness. Until I achieve more healing I will continue to heed the advice of the magic mushroom “Just be.”

Until next time♥️

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