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Oh no! There’s a breadbox in my butt!

I am one of those rare unicorns who survived life without experiencing a yeast infection….🤢 I know, gross but you knew what you signed up for…Hopefully. I was warned when being given my infinite antibiotic prescription “Eat yogurt!” My oncologist said but apparently I got cocky, I didn’t eat enough yogurt nor consistently take probiotics. So a few months ago (yeah I know, it’s been going on for awhile) I started getting symptoms 😬 but chalked it up to “tumor goo” which if you were in my shoes and had never experienced this sort of thing but were well versed in the Cracker Jack surprises that came forth from your nethers due to cancer and its fun twists and turns you might do so as well. So like many people do, I had a realization and searched Google when the itch that had been present but intermittent increased dramatically along with the viscous sludge that was pouring out of me like a semi broken yogurt machine.

The internet had made me pretty certain I was on the right track (I know one has to be careful doing this kind of research, I am fairly certain JFK is still dead😛). I shared my theory with my home health wound care nurse and she thought I was most likely right but encouraged me to try an over the counter vaginal suppository before seeking a prescription. Later that day I texted her “Is it SUPPOSED to burn?!” Apparently this can be a possibility if you let something linger and cause havoc for longer than a normal person would 😳 With Alicia Keys singing “This Girl is on Fire” in my head all the way to my infusion appointment two Fridays ago (because it burned in some capacity for HOURS.) I discussed the possibility of taking the oral medication but wanted to see what this torture would do for me…Apparently not much. So, after 3 rounds of Fluconazole my regular home health nurse found yeast coming out of one of my two wounds, which makes sense as I have felt like a dog with infected anal glands, like I want to drag my ass gently yet firmly across sandpaper. Apparently yeast infections can be a bit pernicious and stubborn. Is this where I say “Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”? Ultimately I have to not really indulge too much in the sugar…The egg nog in my fridge mocks me.

In other fun news I had fevers all weekend, one time peaking at 101.8 which was doused by Tylenol, hard to tell if they were symptoms of the immunotherapy or a bug I picked up from the gnome felting class I took with friends (making gnomes not a class taught by gnomes). Judging from the pattern I am guessing it was the immunotherapy but who knows. Today was the first day I haven’t had a fever (so far) hopefully I can keep on that trend.

Until next time ❤️

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