Not so bad.

I have a vat of egg nog and a plethora of sweet potatoes that I am eating, the cravings of this month kind of balance themselves out. When I found out Starbucks decided to not offer egg nog latte’s on their menu this year I decided I would just get myself egg nog from the store and drink it all month. Yes, I know it has sugar AND cancer loves sugar but seriously, I really don‘t do that many naughty things and I need to gain weight anyway, might as well have fun doing it and except for every now and then I keep it to one small coffee cup and I savor the holiday gloriousness, it’s like drinking pillows of love. My energy is still lagging but it doesn’t seem to be as bad as it was, I really hope this means my iron levels are going up and stabilizing. Every day I make some plan to decorate or make something, yet so far I find myself doing the bare minimum, though I am grateful I can do that, there have been days or weeks in the last few years where just existing was my high so I will be grateful for this.

I decided to start a series on living with stage 4 cancer on TikTok, I find this a little amusing, one more middle aged GenXer taking over the platform for teens but as you know, I have thoughts and I might as well share them. I was inspired by thinking of all the reactions I have had over the years upon telling people about my disease, especially the staging. I have said it before and will say it again, there are just no forgone conclusions when it comes to this shit. Ohhhh, one may think they know and they COULD be right but I just don’t believe a label is necessarily a slam dunk when it comes to forecasting one’s future, I mean I am still here and there were people who didn’t know I would be, including myself.

I have dreams, there are so many things I want to do and experience but I must be patient with my body, sometimes easier said than done. Though finishing our book this year was definitely a dream, I have more books in me, hopefully I will have the chance to bring them out one day.

Wish me luck on getting my living room decorated this week! I know I can do this, I feel like that little tug boat, I loved that book when I was a kid.

Until next time ❤️

P.S. Here’s the book trailer for Pug Monster Gallery!

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