I had the eye exam yesterday that would either qualify or disqualify me from the cancer trial. At the end of the exam the doctor said “I can’t see why you couldn’t do this study, good luck!” The weight that I had felt previously dissipated, Monday at 7:30 am it begins.
I am trying really hard to not anticipate any specific outcome, this is not me being negative at all, it’s trying to stay in the moment as cheesy as that sounds even if the moment is some ridiculous reality show that I am watching from my couch (just discovered 90 day fiancé: Before the 90 days has a new season, be still my heart 🙄.) I am certainly hopeful and this feels good, the very last spot in a 2nd phase global trial for only 200 people is no joke and I am so ready to do this.
In the meantime I am still battling the systemic yeast infection, it is definitely getting better but I believe these things can take time. It’s interesting though, I feel like the candida takes ahold of some microphone in my brain and sends me pictures of delicious mango lasi or soda, even though I really don’t drink that much juice or soda the sugar addiction is ridiculous, it’s like one of those dudes in a trench coat offering to sell you a Rolex really cheap. I missed out on my family drug and alcohol addiction tendencies luckily but sugar has indeed been a monkey on my back over the years, one in which I have definitely curbed but it has never fully left my building. A dry vanilla soda would be heaven right now though…
As I have literally not done anything creative in a couple of months I started working on the next book, I originally wrote and illustrated it over 10 years ago and I feel I can do a much better job this time, we will see what I can do.
Today the sun was out sporadically and I decided I could walk Ruby Sue, my pittie mix. As we walked down one street a beautiful long haired calico was spotted, Ruby lunged and the cat arched its back just like a Halloween decoration and stood her ground as we kept walking. The cat proceeded to stalk us and my ferocious 🙄 dog kept looking nervously over her shoulder as the feline pursued, it was hilarious, respect to that beautiful kitty. I also noticed when the sun turned the rays on extra the birds sang their joy, I wanted to tell them to not get too excited but they jump the gun on this every year, spring is not here yet you sweet little dinosaurs (I just learned recently that they think dinosaurs had feathers.)
I cleaned the apartment as well as did a load of dishes today, just call me Cancerella 🤪 Nevertheless I am a bit tired and don’t even want to go to the ball, there’s probably too much Covid there anyway, ha!
Until next time ❤️