After a couple of months of choking down bananas, yogurt and protein shakes between bouts of intense nausea I have been able to eat like a normal person…Well, as normal as I can be for the last few days. I am careful to not eat too much in one sitting so I can avoid what happened the other day, the “chiligate” incident. So far so good, my wary optimism is peeking around the corner, fingers crossed and wishing on the stars “Please let this be my new normal” it whispers. I ate Ethiopian food tonight, the first time in months and it was glorious…I never thought I could eat anything that was not bland again, hallelujah! So far so good.
I haven’t ingested any cannabis or Ativan for quite a few days just to see if I can go without and I can. I have been sleeping through the night without the extra help and that’s good to know that I am able to. I have had insomnia and or pain from my wounds off and on through this journey and these last few days have been such a relief. I have a real fear of addiction, my family has a predilection for drugs and alcohol…You might think “But Kara, what does it matter if you get addicted? You have cancer and a 2 percent chance of healing from it.” You wouldn’t be wrong and many doctors would probably agree with you, I could easily get a prescription for infinite opiates because my care is defined as “palliative” but that’s not my jam and I might just get through this yet…Who knows but I would like to see what I can do while I am still here and able to do things, even if I have to lay down between projects or chores.
Speaking of projects, my husband has a story in a new anthology inspired by our experience, the book called “Cinema Viscera,” Charles’ story “A Marriage Of Blood And Puss.” It might be a tad dark but my husband is a gifted writer, here is the link if you would like to see for yourself
I think I am going to have a little dessert, how exciting is that?! 😜
Until next time ❤️