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Writer's pictureKara Muir

We all need to hang out with Happy because Grumpy is calling the shots right now 😳

"I'm a ho, I'm a ho, so off to wound care I go...." The first day I have ventured out in awhile and only because I had a doctor appointment. Though I am feeling on the upswing I have not gone a day without a fever for quite a few days. I have a low grade one as I write this that just picked up speed about 45 minutes ago...I thought I was in the clear, meh.


After laying on a table for about 20 minutes with my butt previously prepped for debridement of the open wounds on my topography, the doctor came in and after scraping out any funky tissue said everything looked fine and she found no sign of an abscess brewing...I am skeptical regarding this but also hopeful she is right. Regarding my fevers and cough she thinks I have RSV but told me to take a Covid test which I did and that was negative again.


The heaviness of the last few months seem to be back in the new year with a side of holiday hang over. I dragged myself to Trader Joe's after my appointment, put on my mask and navigated through the hordes of people. I noticed a lot more masking but people were shuffling through the store like those infected with a zombie virus. When I checked out, the cashier wouldn't look me in the eyes and when she pushed the cart at me I could barely hear her growl "Have a nice day" as she literally had her head pointed in a different direction from me.


I ended my adventure at CVS where I was told that I couldn't get my Covid tests covered by insurance without showing my new medical card which I haven't taken out of the envelope yet. The pharmacy technician who advised me of this was courteous yet a bit surly like he was waiting for me to be an asshole, I thanked him and he directed me where to purchase a kit for now, saying defensively "You can't buy them from me!" Again, I thanked him, got the test and left but everyone was oozing depressed teenager vibes...Probably even me.


I just took an edible and am now writing this post, I haven't really done much lately except the bare minimum. I am cautious about doing too much when I walk this line of "not too sick/not too well" I really am hoping the scale tips heavier on the "well" side though, this "sick" shit gets a bit old.


I did have an urge to dance a little bit tonight though and my body enjoyed the movement. Maybe I will make another silly video soon, I need to do more fun things even if it's by myself and in my living room.


I hope you have some fun, we could all use a break.


Until next time❤️

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Mark Thibodeau
Mark Thibodeau
Jan 08, 2023

Also, don't forget that you're a resident of the Pacific Northwest! That's practically CANADA! Shitty vibes abound this time of year. We even have a name for the illness it manifests as: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). So you're expected to feel icky and low. Maybe treat yourself next year by getting closer to the equator for an extended period of time. Got any chums who could tolerate your presence for a month or two around Dec/Jan?

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Kara Muir
Kara Muir
Jan 08, 2023
Replying to

I have lived in the PNW my whole life and have never really been affected by SAD, though my mom definitely was but I will say dealing with a heavy illness has probably made the darker, dismal time of year more palpable. I used to really love going out to karaoke during the holidays but Covid has really thrown a wrench in that. It will get better and I will feel better. Sometimes I just sink a little more into the muck and have to belly ache about it. Not a place I wanna live but it would be a lie to say I never have bad days.

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Mark Thibodeau
Mark Thibodeau
Jan 08, 2023

Despite your substantial level of grumpiness, I commend you for STILL managing to keep things generally on the happy side of that fulcrum point... and thus, continuing to elevate!

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