I had an appointment with my naturopath at Providence who gives me acupuncture, she is wonderful. I was sharing with her my elation regarding how my body is feeling now as opposed to this time last year and I said that even though having cancer is not anything I had ever wanted there have been some significant gifts brought forth from my diagnosis and how I have always had gratitude for these, even through the darker times in this experience. My naturopath said that in Chinese Medicine, gratitude is extremely important to the outcome of a person struggling with disease as the belief is that a practice of gratitude can bring forth balance to meridians and the organs they correlate with. Western Medicine has its place but Eastern Medicine is the OG regarding balancing ones life force and her statement hit home for me, so in honor of my cancer here is my pro list:
I found out that people loved me.
I realized I am who I am and not what I do.
I learned how to advocate and speak up for myself.
I was able to experience the healing power of magic mushrooms.
I learned how to accept help from others including my husband (it was devastating knowing that he would have to pack my wounds along with everything else and I am lucky he was able to), if you are the one taking care of others your whole life you will understand how hard this one was.
I learned to appreciate my doctors and the rest of the western medicine community who work with me while recognizing their limitations, we are all just people and I am more than able to assist them to help me heal, whatever the outcome.
I am continuing to practice loving myself and appreciating what my body has endured thus far. I tell my body nice things and my cells feel happy! I encourage you to try this and feel for yourself. It works best when you say the words aloud at first but practicing smiling into your areas can be good too…Don’t knock it until you try it.
I was forced to tap into creativity in different ways. I am not sure if I would have ever made the time to illustrate two books or write blog posts twice a week for the last 2 and a half years let alone teaching myself how to play in instrument (not well yet) but it’s a start.
I probably could go on for awhile about what I am grateful to my cancer for, as weird as that sounds. Really, cancer cells are just a part of the body that went a little or a lot crazy and in a way it’s a practice of self gratitude, a medicine that we didn’t know we needed. I was taught that it was selfish to love myself so I did the opposite, I still struggle with this at times but I am getting better at it for which I am grateful…You see what I did there?
Lastly, if you are reading this please know that I am grateful for you. As I have walked, trudged, crawled, danced, laughed and screamed through what I have often referred to as the “dark forest” you have kept me company and made my world less lonely. You have helped me and I want you to know that I love you too.
Until next time ❤️
Kara, I always, always knew, as your massage client and a bit later your friend, that you loved me. You were so good at conveying that love as you would finish up a massage by holding my feet and doing whatever you did (saying a little prayer? Giving a blessing)? You loved me so much during my divorce that you didn't charge me for missed appointments when my head was in a crazy place and I forgot everything. (In fact, you NEVER charged me for missing an appointment, and you should have. I owe you some cash.)
It's like you say. You were one who loved and took care of others. Now please know that we noticed, we do love…