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Writer's pictureKara Muir

Mojito NO!



For my birthday I decided that I wanted to walk up the street and have a mojito. I don’t drink that often but when I do it’s usually a spicy red beer aka “A Picante” aka my version of a white trash cocktail, cheap and delicious (just like me, ha!) Anyway, I don’t think I have had this particular cocktail since before my colostomy surgery which was almost 2 years ago and I had wanted to have one for close to that long but I really try and not drink alcohol that much due to said colostomy AND tumors in my liver BUT… I wanted to make an exception 😳BIG MISTAKE. I felt drunk from the beverage and did not drink enough water AND decided to get into my sauna with a full stomach 😳🙄Apparently rules do not apply to me…If you are following thus far you may start to realize that I was on a mission unbeknownst to myself to dehydrate my body, or straight up fossilize it, perhaps alcohol really does impair judgement, go figure. The next morning I woke up and had coffee aka ”The final straw” and my body revolted. I am not being dramatic, the deep and horrific belly pain set in about a half hour after my final sip of coffee and the nausea reminded me of watching my dog Cooper drool before he vomits. Charles came downstairs and I fled to my massage room blasting the AC as I pointed a fan at my face and clutched a heat pad to my abdomen. Intermittently I would rock myself to sleep and then wake up to moan or retch over my toilet, though only saliva and mucus would come out. I was like this for about 7 hours as I willed out of me what I felt was petrified poo that had gummed up my intestines, I labored 2 and a half fecal babies in that time, the pain decreasing slightly as I sipped water and half of a protein shake. You see, colostomies make it extra easy to get dehydrated and serious dehydration is…Well…AWFUL. Lesson learned until next time 🙄


I woke up with a mild yet tolerable tummy ache today and decided to baby it with heat packs and water ingestion. I was able to drive myself to the oncologist where I told my story and she laughed and verbally spanked me for not drinking enough water. My numbers were still really good and there was still no sign of infection. My butt crack situation was also looked at earlier in the day by my wonderful wound care nurse who believes the situation is from radiation so that’s good as we were worried about yet another tumor fissure. I did however lose more weight, I literally ate about 300 calories yesterday so I have to be sure to make up for the loss…You would think this is awesome but it gets tiresome, like a body builder getting ready for a competition but without the glorious abs.


Charles and his brother made a movie last weekend, I got to play a role in one of the vinettes it’s darkly humorous and somewhat disturbing but I will post a link if you wanted to check it out.


Until next time ❤️



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