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It’s raining meh…

I feel like I have used that title before but it’s so good!

Well…It is raining but I am not really too meh, sometimes I can’t resist a punny blog title and today is no exception. I just walked my dog after cleaning the bathroom and making the bed in our apartment that we rent out on Airbnb, though I am a bit more tired today, I am not too bad considering I had my immunotherapy with a side of iron infusion yesterday. I still haven’t gained weight, in fact I lost a pound but that’s not so bad, it’s challenging to eat enough when dealing with the slow motility issues and a colostomy but I continue to work out how to do that. The side effects from my infusion are usually diarrhea and horrible skin rashes but I seem to have the opposite response, my oncologist told me that I am not normal, ha! Like I didn’t know that 😜.

It is an interesting feeling living in a state of the unknown. Now really, we all live in this place but don’t acknowledge it, nobody gets out of here alive. A diagnosis of a disease with a prognosis of certain doom rips away the veil and one can spend a bit more of their time pondering this and questioning all of the sensations in the body. When everything is rough and surgical intervention happens or some other high stress, high stakes procedure is prescribed, that’s what you focus on. When life is seemingly calm and you feel better, it’s hard to not look around for that huge shoe that you are used to dropping. Often people surrender their fate to their doctors expecting these experts to cure them. Sometimes that works out but I feel like that is a lot of pressure to put on any person and honestly, they don’t know everything, if you have a doctor that says they do know everything I would suggest getting a different doctor.

I have one more fix to make on our coloring story book before sending it off to be formatted so that we can approve and publish it. I have practically bled all over these pictures trying to make them as perfect as possible for me to do. I have found pleasure in the details, tweaking and cleaning up lines, admiring what I have made. Sometimes I compare myself to others which is a mistake and it’s a contest I will never win, I like what I have done and that should be enough. We can’t get better unless we keep practicing and that’s a fact, one is never too old to learn new things and hone skills. Maybe I will pick up the bass guitar again this week, I have to keep doing something as long as I am able and as long as I am here, not a bad rule for anyone in my opinion.

I am going to attend a couple book reading events this weekend in which Charles is one of the readers, one is Friday at The Mad Hanna from 6-8pm and the other is Saturday at The Rose City Book Pub at 8:30. Two weekends in a row of social action is more than I have had in a couple of years and I am glad I can do it! Come check it out if you feel so inclined (both events are mask required.)

Until next time ❤️🥵

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