“Your tumors shrunk 30% this time but that is only 2 dimensionally so they probably shrunk even more than that…” said my oncologist referring to my liver tumors as she continued to tell me that everything else that they had been monitoring had also shrunk. I haven’t seen my doctor so excited, she really thinks it’s possible I will get better and she is encouraging me to think this as well. It’s an interesting position to be in considering this was not a place that anyone on my medical team thought I would ever get to. “Many people in your position would have died already…” Said my doctor, a potentiality that I have considered but never seriously, I couldn’t allow myself to dwell in that state of mind, I wanted to keep trying to heal even when it felt like my body was not on the same track. She even stated that my cancer was dying. All these words I have wanted to hear yet I still find myself cautious, I am feeling so much better than I have in years but I can’t pop the cork off of the champagne just yet, not until my body has balanced itself and I am declared cancer free, it’s within my grasp, so close. This is not to say that I am not going to enjoy this newly found energy and good feeling, I have already been doing so and I am planning a future for myself. It is good to be excited about having adventures beyond my living room again, though I still appreciate my home, I love it and am grateful for it in fact. Also…I got my taxes done on Friday, 3 days before they were due, this is a lot of progress for me.
I have to go practice my bass now, my future plan (one of many) is to be a real musician and one of the positive side effects of my healing body is that I can actually sit in a chair while I practice…You just don’t know how important your butt is until you can’t use it in the way it is intended. I am so grateful I can sit fully on my bum again, it is mildly blissful.
Until next time ❤️