I feel like the most emo middle aged woman on the planet...Ha! Just the title of this blog and the first statement is evidence that this may actually be true. Physically I feel pretty decent, not too cancer-y but EMOTIONALLY 😳 Woah! Fifteen year old Kara ain’t got nothin’ on this puddin’ faced old lady, bejeezus...(I am even making up words like I am in the cast of “Mean Girls” so fetch.)
Due to the excessive amount of thoughts and feelings I am just going to pick a topic and expand on it, here I go...
Let’s talk about my dusty, unused uterus and all that entails. As you might get from that statement, I never pushed forth a child out of my nether region. This however does not mean that I don’t have experience with children on my resume of life. This also does not mean that I don’t like or understand children. This ALSO does not mean that I have no value as a woman because I did not bring forth life out of my own loins like in the olden days when the king would set aside his charming yet barren wives.
I helped raise 4 kids, they happened to be my siblings but I think it counts a bit. I wasn’t technically a parent but I did everything but breastfeed them and I knew “Green Eggs and Ham” by heart. When I was in my early 20’s I was even financially supporting them and my mom who would call me at work to tell me who I needed to talk to when I got home, like I was their father. I bring this up because I notice a trend in authority from some people who are traditional parents, the “You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have children people.” I imagine that this club and mindset are often from those that have not experienced any true hardship, maybe they were coddled, their parents paid for braces and dance class, most likely even college...I know, I know...My non privileged in THAT way slip is showing but really, this kind of authority is just wrong and to be honest, hurts my feelings 🙄Gahhhh smother me with a pillow already.
Spoiler alert: physically manifesting a human being out of your body is not the only way that one can be a nurturing parent. I know that seems to be an obvious statement but there is an element of preciousness with some people in regards to their DNA these days that just pushes my buttons in the worst way. Some of the best parents did not actually make their kids genetically, I always thought adopted kids should feel really good because they were chosen, of course nothing and nobody is perfect but I guess that’s my point really. Just drop the authority on everyone but yourself and even ones authority on themselves at times can be completely wrong or skewed but you know what I mean, I hope. This can actually be applied to everyone, hey Congress, can I get an amen?!
If you have read this far through my ramble, I appreciate you. I know I have been a bit dark lately but I do tend to be a bit of an empath and the weight of the world is mildly (to put it mildly) crushing me right now. I also want to say that the people in my life, my friends who are parents, are lovely and do not make me feel lesser than because I did not physically bring forth life, I am mostly addressing the void, social media, the randoms. Of those that I am addressing I don’t even think those people are necessarily bad, just a little full of themselves and maybe a tad myopic in that figurative way, this is nothing that cannot be improved upon. We could all use some freshening up.
Okay, I am done now.
Hang in there.
Until next time ❤️