The sky outside is ominous. Apparently this is a major weather event with winds that are supposed to be up to 60 miles an hour and some forest fire is happening not too far from here. It is hot and the power keeps shutting off. I have a weather pressure headache, the kind that feels like a tight rainbow colored sweatband, like what you would wear if you were a competitive disco skater but the sweatband is child sized and you are definitely not.
I have had pretty low energy since my abscess surgery almost two weeks ago, not like the exhaustion I felt last summer but I just haven’t felt as good as I was feeling. These are the moments that I start questioning my body and the sensations. I start trying to interpret the signs... Basically I am a bit of a hypochondriac but my answer is always “It must be the cancer” to which the other side of me remains calm and attached to the rudder of this ship, navigating, moving forward and saying “Quit being a butt nugget, you just had surgery...Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.”
I picked the worst time to have cancer, really! Between COVID-19 and the political climate with a huge side of social injustice it has been really challenging to focus on getting well. I feel like I am living in an old school arcade game, probably a hybrid of Donkey Kong, Frogger and dodge ball, every time I get through a level, shit gets more challenging. I want to keep being creative and silly but the heaviness of our reality permeates through the cracks and bogs me down, I don’t like it.
Don’t worry, I will get creative and silly soon, or at least that is my plan If the flying monkeys don’t get me first...I would click my ruby slippers but I am already home, ha!
Until next time ❤️