I see it everywhere and from most everyone in one way or another, people talking about their mental health and maybe how they're going to manage it. Social media is like a big bay window in a house overlooking a river and I watch the meaningful, heartfelt and often desperate memes floating by with quotes from Brene Brown or Rumi saying words that the poster desperately wants to...I don't know, soothe their souls, calm the voices and perceived judgements? Meanwhile they are making incredibly long and public gratitude or good deed to do lists to quiet the inner turmoil that I imagine is happening inside and to make sure all of their online friends know it, I feel like many are screaming silently and finding it very difficult to just be. I get it, I am guilty of plugging myself into the distraction machine to get away from myself, sometimes it is necessary, reality TV has been a real painkiller for me at times but always looking outside of oneself to be soothed can be problematic...Can you imagine what our society would do if the internet disappeared and our cell phones stopped working?! I mean, I can because I am old enough to remember the before times but if we lost the ability to double down on our seemingly collective anxieties by constantly publicizing our inner turmoils would that help?
When I was a kid it wasn't illegal to be babysat by a locked car, though I am not saying that sitting in a vehicle outside of a bar for hours while my stepfather supposedly repaired poker machines was good parenting, it did allow me to develop the ability to soothe myself. This is in no way glorifying neglect or patting myself on the back for developing the ability to self soothe through said neglect but it was definitely a kind of gift with crappy purchase that has been helpful in these troubled times.
I share some of my thoughts and fears on this blog that I have added to twice a week for over 3 years, I am not shitting on people who share their angst, not at all but I do wonder if in doing so like a to-do list that they should be held accountable for by their 754 Facebook friends, if some people don't increase their anxiety and potentially fuel others anxiety fire 🤷🏻♀️
What do I know?
My anxiety (at least some of it) is housed in the spaces between inaction and action, nothing makes me buzz with uncertainty and apprehension like I do before a decision is finally made, this is my kryptonite.
I guess this whole post is sponsored by the collective anxiety that I am seeing as well as feeling. It really is not very useful unless you are running from a bear or a serial killer.
When I am consciously creative I don't experience unease. It is interesting that art programs are the things that get cut in public school, it makes me wonder if anxiety isn't an intended outcome of the powers that be...Fearful people are easier to control.
The key is to navigate the tendrils of unease when you can, sometimes easier said than done.
No fever as of yet today but I will check again in a bit.
Don't let the heaviness of the world drag you down, there are a lot of good things even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it.
Until next time ❤️