A second cousin on my moms side died recently and suddenly. He had been diagnosed with lung cancer not too long before I received my diagnosis. He was about 7 years older than I am and though his prognosis from the doctors was grim, he was planning on going to college this coming Fall. He was talking about this right before his sister, with whom he lived with, found him slumped at the table he had been sitting at, gone so quick. I didn’t know him very well, though he had lived with my family for a bit the summer I turned 15. The news shook me more than I expected, I was rooting for him to start college and defy the odds but at least it was quick. That’s what I tell myself, though none of us really knows how we are going to die, when you wear the diagnosis of cancer you cannot help but think about it and whether or not it is going to end you.
I hear “She is battling cancer” or “They are fighting cancer” or “Fuck cancer”. This language makes the disease sound like an enemy army of Orcs battling for the ring which I can agree feels that way sometimes but those rogue cells are just that, your own confused cells that due to the right circumstances and atmosphere can go crazy and lay waste in your body...Where’s Viggo Mortenson when you need him?
I don’t like to think of my own experience as a battle, that sounds brutal as well as exhausting and if you think about it, the battle is against yourself. Instead of battling myself I have decided to really change up my nutrition to support my system while going through chemotherapy, which sounds slightly lame and a little less violent, I am definitely going to miss Ruby Jewel ice cream sandwiches. My quest: To bore my jabronies aka cancer cells to death by really decreasing my sugar intake, eliminating take-out, minimizing dairy and eating mostly whole foods. The cooking and dishwashing might take me out before the cancer does but I have to try. I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of “my precious” life and I would really like the opportunity to find out.
Until next time ❤️