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The She-Hulkapation Of Picante

Today was my first radiation or “She-Hulkening” treatment. As you may have gathered by now this is something I never wanted to do but the circumstances regarding my butt abscess made this the most viable choice to get the rectal tumor out of the somewhat large puss filled cavity in my booty. Gross, I know, believe me, nobody knows better than me. The Radiation Clinic actually has mood lighting, I am not joking. I was directed to the “Dressing Room” which was down the hall and told that they would see me on a camera and come get me...”They are going to watch me undress on camera?” I said, half joking to which the Receptionist said “no” with not an ounce of humor. The ”Dressing Room” which in actuality was a waiting room had chairs and we sat to wait.

A nice person came to get me, I dressed easy access style with leggings and a tunic top so there was no actual need for me to change. I was directed to another romantically lit room with a huge machine that looked like it was right off of the set of one of the latest Star Trek movies. Salsa music was playing, which was an interesting choice because I was told not to move at all once I was positioned on the table. A circular device laden with (I believe 4 different machines) in the style of Tommy Lee’s drum kit as it spun slowly around my body taking pictures of my insides. The doctor was outside of the room adjusting exactly where they were going to apply the hulkening treatment. Then the machine shot it’s juju underneath me and on both sides. I could feel a weird pulsing and buzzing on my right side. The salsa music continued to play and I kept still. It took about a total of 15 minutes.

Almost immediately I could feel my tumor reacting, slightly burning and throbbing, switching areas, the sensation moving. I imagined it disintegrating. I told my doctor that I picture my cancer cells as dude bro’s who are partying non stop and too dumb to notice that they are burning down their house with them in it. “Fair enough“ she said.

As I started experiencing slight nausea about an hour after treatment I dosed myself with RSO and slept for a good portion of today which brings me to right here, writing this blog post before, during and after Charles stuffed my wound. Four more times of this, we will see what happens.

My day wasn’t too bad but I hope yours was better than mine. Stay healthy!

Until next time ❤️

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Feb 27, 2020

That is an awesome description of the radiation treatment. No the tumor does not like the little radiation beams :-) Your description of the clinic is hilarious. We in health care take things much too seriously sometimes, hence the humorless receptionist.


Feb 21, 2020

This is coooooool to read. Another friend is going through radiation as I type this, I took him to his first treatment and I'll be there for the last one, for his lungs. He seemed unphased after the first one. I asked the other day if he was noticing any spidy senses or x-ray vision or superhuman strength? I don't think he was amused lol

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