I got the word this morning that this latest trial is a go and it's a relief to know that I will be doing something. I arrive Wednesday morning and will be prepared for 7 hours of observation and tests after I take the 8 pills.
This is the part of my story where I have felt the lowest and I think it is for a multitude of reasons. My energy must be loud because I have had a few of my healer friends reach out and make me commit to seeing them...Who am I not to answer the call? Shit must be serious if my Yoda peeps are being notified of my situation by the force, ha! It's funny but it's not funny.
When I worked at the bank back in the day, one of my coworkers had an adult daughter that lived with her because she had Crohns Disease. When I say this person was unpleasant everytime she called to talk to her mom, that would be an understatement. I get it in a way now. Discomfort in your basement is extra and there have been times I have had to reign in my inner monster as to not rip someone to shreds for fairly innocuous things. I really don't like feeling grumpy but here is where it is, at least it's not all of the time and I am aware of this tendency to occasionally want to kill...The more you know 😳
If I was sleeping better that could make a difference. Part of the issue is the amount of goo that is coming out of me these last few weeks. Now I really know why babies cry when their diaper is wet...It's pretty unpleasant but at least I can change my own makeshift diaper.
After arguing with my doctor about ibuprofen (she does not like it's potential impact on my liver) I have knocked my Advil intake to only 2 a day (formerly 6 a day) with an Oxy pill as needed (no more than 2 in 24 hours) with edible cannabis taking a shift from evening to early morning. I can't stress enough how important it is to find the right thing or things to work, everyone is so different.
My creative train has been somewhat derailed.
I did sing one karaoke song last night on our system. It wasn't too bad but it was all I could do and I was glad I could do it.
Pupating sucks but is necessary, I am definitely at the mushy, devouring myself phase.
A friend who is an artist sent this to me, randomly:
I was told that her name is Mindy.
Until next time ❤️