If you have read the previous posts you will know I have had my issues. Nausea and constipation, excessive nerve pains in my open wounds but please, let me introduce you to skin crawling restlessness 😳 I told you I was my own mystery, me, my own body detective.
The morning of my appointment I felt the latent call of that sick/sour feeling that is nausea, just a little bit, a whisper. My doctors had really encouraged me to preemptively take the medication so I did, this was a different drug than my Zofran, which can encourage constipation. I had started feeling restless a few days ago, not a useful restlessness, more like “I need to lay down, I can’t get comfortable, I feel too hot or too cold…” You get the idea. Relief can finally be felt after a cannabis gummy kicks in when I am in this state (less potent than a 3rd of a gram of RSO.) I was delivered to the hospital by my lovely ride, the whole time swimming in my seat, too hot, too cold, just uncomfortable. I dragged myself to the National Guardsperson who took my temperature and listened sternly as to whether I had COVID symptoms and was a patient (there are no visitors to the hospital AT ALL 😳) Unless they make an exception for cancer appointments but you don’t get visitors if you are admitted into the hospital and that’s a fact right now.
When I showed up in the Cancer Center I had come to a realization…Or perhaps a deduction my dear Watsons, the new medicine…KILLED THE BUTLER IN THE LIBRARY WITH A CANDLESTICK! No really, the medicine made me want to kill something with a blunt object, namely this asshole feeling that I was having, the feeling was perhaps a side effect 🧐 I checked in and sat by the window. A couple came in, I felt it was a first appointment (a reason for a visitor exception) “Wow, what a beautiful view.” They dreamily stared at the scenery from the 11th floor, when I said “Yup, almost makes you glad you got cancer.” 😳 My filter has been radiated and chemo’d outta me and at least in the cancer center waiting room and infusion room, I am a fucking stand-up comic apparently🙄 The couple laughed a little, whether they thought I was funny or crazy, I am not sure, I got up and started pacing…Probably crazy.
I was led to the Infusion room to get my blood work first, the chair I had to sit in unable to feel comfortable. The staff noticed my unusual behavior and I told them my theory “Let me check with the pharmacist.” Said one nurse…Bingo, though rare you can definitely get the constant heebie jeebies and along with helping nausea this medicine is an anti psychotic, fun fact 🧐
My doctor told me that my numbers were all good and she was encouraged that the immunotherapy might work for me but that I had to gain weight “How much did I lose? It couldn’t be THAT much.” I had lost 8 lbs in two weeks though I have been fluctuating 10 lbs since I gained up from the 139 lbs that was my low in this parade. “Just gain 2 lbs at least.” She stared at me hard and meaningfully “You need to stay positive. More good people need to live. You need to live.” Point taken, I said I would do my best. She approved me for another immunotherapy and I was escorted back to the infusion room where I waited to be plugged into the IV. Someone lent me a fan and I huddled under my sweatshirt shooing away the kind offering of a warm blanket, this balanced out the HB/JB’s and I was able to weather it out of my system by the time I was done.
Today was a mixed bag but slowly I am inching towards the finish line with the pug monster coloring and story book that I am illustrating and Charles is writing, another collaboration I will be super excited to share when I am able to!
Until next time ❤️