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I feel WHAT?

I am making a birthday cake from scratch for my good friend, he is turning 40 and has agreed that I can do this for him. Last year we celebrated his birthday there was no way I could even load or unload the dishwasher in one go let alone make a whole cake and dinner. My home health case manager told me that she was most likely going to discharge me at the end of this month after over 2 years of consistent wound care due to the fact that I am able to be mobile again, I mean REALLY mobile and my caboose is no longer consistently horrible. When I was signed up initially it was from my first abscess surgeries and the 8.9cm hole in my butt, I didn’t know if there would be a time when I wouldn’t need a nurse to come visit me, honestly I thought it was a step before hospice but I never dwelled on this, the messages that were put forth to me were not all that encouraging but still, I kept an open mind even through the most dismal times.

Today as I was driving myself to my chiropractor appointment I felt elated and really happy. The world is a shit show and here I am, more often than not lately, brimming with some kind of joy. I don’t take this feeling lightly or for granted, the message I understand from this is that we all need to appreciate any good feeling when we have it even in the midst of adversity and horror. I have always experienced the best laughs at funerals, as inappropriate as that sounds it’s true, maybe because those types of events are meant for the living that were touched by the loved one or ones that are no longer there. My husband and I often bring our people who are gone back to life even for a moment, by reliving some buffoonery or recounting a fun story about them, that is ultimate love with a side of longing, a sort of memory embrace, a true honor in my book.

Anyway…Long story short, I am feeling good in a lot of ways and the elation is palpable at times, I am grateful that I get to experience this again though I wish I could shake some sense into our world, we are all more similar than we might think and life is too short to cause unnecessary suffering to others… Blerghh 😳

May whomever comes across this post feel some sort of joy too, that is my wish right now and forever (or however long the internet exists) and so it is and so it shall be.

All of my love 😘

Until next time ❤️

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