Years ago when a close cousin of Charles’ was going through their own cancer situation, a well meaning friend (who probably thought they were doing us a favor by preparing us), upon finding out this relative had stage 4 brain cancer told us basically that our loved one was a goner and we should prepare for that. Though they did succumb ultimately to the ravages of the treatment, which left their tired body unable to fight the pneumonia, I have never forgotten this and in some ways never forgiven the well meaning yet misguided person. Were they ultimately correct in this case? Sorta. The cancer didn’t take our cousin out, in fact the cancer was not detected at this point but they did die.
I have personally had the same ominous experience in regards to my own diagnosis from many people, the seriously sad and knowing look and tone of voice when I answer their question “What kind? What stage?” I can read their thoughts, the ones counting me out, wanting to urge me to get my affairs in order, feeling sorry for my husband...Fucking awkward because I am still here and nobody knows anyone else’s fate, even their own. Please don’t think I am angry, I am not. Actually these interactions make me sad because I am instantly defined as a walking dead person, discounted and biding my time until that time is up, which when you think of it is all of us humans on the planet, or at least the ones that aren’t Marvel or D.C. characters. There are plenty of stories about people who beat the odds, you may know one or two personally, I know I do. Why can’t I try to be one of those stories?
My ultimate dream is to have my cancer go away, get my colostomy reversed, win the World Air Guitar Championship, go to a Supernatural convention, tour Graceland and die in my sleep in 20 years at the earliest after traveling, performing and having many fun adventures with people that I love. Maybe none of these things happen for me, but don’t count me out until I shuffle off this mortal coil and maybe if you hear from others of their own struggles, health or other, don’t count them out either, maybe even think about how you would like to be supported if/when you are in some dire situation and act accordingly because nobody is immune from the ultimate fate that awaits them. Death and taxes, amiright?! 😜
That’s what I have got today, sorry to go dark, I can’t be carefree effervescence ALL of the time, ha! Once again I promise to inject some fun into this blog in the future while I still breathe and have thumbs.
Until next time my fellow zombies 😘❤️